Not too long ago, I blogged about feeling the academic heat, when my firstborn was barely 2.5 years old. These two days, I have been reading and participating in a quite heated online discussion (a homelearning group on FB) about preparing our children for primary school, and got to thinking more about this topic.
The thing is, regardless of how my sons eventually perform academically, I am quite certain that they will not be among the top of their class at Primary 1. Because I am determined to let them enjoy their childhood, to let them play and play and play. Because I might not send them to preschool at all, maybe not even kindergarten. Because they might have a 'culture shock' in primary school. Because they might simply be late bloomers.
[Jiale has been on the waiting list for one preschool since a couple of months ago. I chose this school because from another mummy's feedback, the style of teaching fits my criteria. About one month ago, the school contacted me to check whether I was keen to enrol him for next year's intake, i.e. Nursery 2. I replied that I am only interested in the 2014 K1 intake. But now I am probably only going to start him at K2 earliest. And if he can't get into that school, I shall just enrol him at the nearest PCF for K2. That is, if he's going to kindergarten at all. But totally homeschooling from P1 onwards is not something I want. Because I love our education system too much :p ]
So, how do we deal with the not-so-good results in P1? Other than mummy having to take many deep breaths and setting aside her competitive streak, that is.....
I really really hope my children will grow up to be resilient and adaptable. In this context about primary school, I hope they will be able to adapt to the new environment in school, and be able to withstand the peer pressure, the possible negativism from teachers, the definite negativism on their test papers & report books, the demoralization they might feel from the class ranking. I hope they will not be disheartened, and will take it in their stride. I hope you will be STRONG, my dear sons. Be strong, and mummy is confident you will do just fine : )
My take on academic teaching in the preschool years is that the kids will either bloom sooner or later, or they will not bloom at all. The kids who bloom early, great, they are in time for P1 and will do well regardless of external 'help' (or hindrance :p) The kids who won't bloom, tuition or any academic hothousing will not improve matters, will only make these kids stressed and unhappy. The kids who bloom later, perhaps as late as P5 after streaming, or even only in secondary school, I believe the most important thing is to protect their natural curiosity and desire to learn in their early years, so that they can still bloom when they are ready. If the bud is not ready to become a flower, it is futile to pluck open the petals to 'help' it bloom.....
Now, my children are still young and I feel the need to protect them from outside attempts to kill their natural learning tendencies. Hopefully by the time they are 6-7 years old, they can go to kindergarten or primary school and protect themselves with their resilience. It is not always a kind world out there, the best I can do is to protect them, nurture them when they are impressionable and weak, and to set them free as they grow stronger.
By the way, yes, I am competitive. So it's quite killing me to be laidback about the boys' academic learning. But I believe this will produce the best results for them, academic or otherwise. Hope I am not sabo-ing them!
To summarize for my baobeis who might be reading this at the grand old age of 7 for Jiale and 5 for Jiahe:
Don't be stressed when you go to primary school. Don't worry about results.
Behave yourself, obey the teachers, always be respectful. (If there's a need to disagree with your teachers, mummy will do it. But you won't know about it.)
Do homework and submit on time. If you don't know how to do, ask mummy or daddy.
Make friends, play with friends, enjoy yourselves, have fun!
Pay attention in class, or at least be quiet during lessons.
Be happy, and wait to bloom!
If mummy becomes a crazy kiasu parent over the next few years, you can use this to back yourselves up :p
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